I'm talking to my intern the first time we meet and the fact that I'm pregnant comes up. "Are you sad it isn't a girl?" "No, there's always next time." Then she proceeds to tell me this story about the only person she knows with more than two kids is her crazy brother. Really? We had just met! What did I care about her opinion?!
Plus, I have taken junk from so many people about the fact that I work full time. I'm sorry that I got a degree so I could support my family (because that's what the Prophet told us women to do) and that I've actually had to use it because circumstances (as the Prophet said) have made it necessary! I've heard, from close friends, "Oh, I could never be a good mom if I had to work full time." Honestly? Why would you say that to someone to her face?!?!
I will tell you that I probably fell guilty to that idea before I was forced into this situation. But having had to do it, I'm pretty dang good at it. My child is totally well adjusted, loves me, knows who I am, but has no problems hanging with other children or adults as circumstances require. And I am pretty amazed that I have been able to be an awesome mother, wife and teacher all together. The one thing that I've had to get creative about is the housekeeper job. But I was never really that good about that, so who cares?
I will admit that the mommy guilt factor is brutal, but I'm pretty sure no one, not even a SAHM, is immune to that.
I'm not some corporate climbing, career-obsessed, shark and I'm not some careless, selfish, negligent mother. Yes, I want to be home raising my children, but, no, I can't right now.
I have learned so many things about myself, being a mother, and others through this entire experience.
- I have an arsenal for being efficient and juggling all things that would make many a man quake in fear.
- All women have things they want to be able to do, but they can't, and instead they sacrifice for their family and their children and others to provide what is best for them. It is not my place, OR ANY OTHER WOMEN'S for that matter, to pass judgement or express an opinion about any decision that they do make or had to make or will make. Instead, I need to support them, offer kind words, and see what I can do to make their life easier, not more challenging or guilt-ridden.
- When I do get to stay home with my children, I will value every day I get to do that as the gift that it is.
As I read in a magazine yesterday and paraphrase here, "Being a mother isn't easy, if it were, then a father could do it."
4 comments:
Amen! I couldn't believe the comments or "free advice" when I was working full time with our oldest and prego with my 2nd. Like you it wasn't necesarily the 1st place I wanted to be but circumstances placed me there because it was what was best for our family!
Sorry, friend. :-( If it's any comfort, there WILL be justice - either in this life or the next - for those who judge. I, for one, know that you are fabulous.
Beautifully said! Katie you are a "rock star mom".your Dad shares your amazing ness! Your boys are so blessed to be your sons! Good for you for putting into words what I know is felt by so many. Coudos to you for having your degree, I don't yet but, it still my to do list. You are reaping the blessings of following the Prophet, unlike those who choose to cast judgement on others, I don't envy them, what their reward will be! Love you Katie! Keep up the good work! You are awesome! Anxiouse to hear when this new little guy gets here! Love,
Aunt Susan
Oh my goodness! I didn't realize I was so behind on your blog. To the person who says "I couldn't be a good mom if I worked full-time...", you say "Yes, I know. I'm particularly gifted." That will shut them right up. :) You are doing a great job! You go girl!
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