A letter to my son

Dear JJ,

First, I want to let you know how excited your father and I were to bring you into this life. We had tried for so long to have a child of our own. When we found out you were going to be ours, we just couldn’t wait. We had big plans to make you a part of life. At the time, we did not know that Heavenly Father had even bigger plans for you that, at this time, did not include us.

Right now as I struggle to deal with your absence, I draw strength on the peace I felt right after you were born. That feeling of comfort and strength that you brought into the room left everyone speechless and in awe. As I held you for a few sweet and tender moments, I knew, that while it wasn’t what I wanted, Heavenly Father definitely needed you more than me.

We chose to name you after your father. You and he share the same exact name, however, the similarities do not stop there. You both are very strong spirits, willing to do anything that is asked of you. You both come from a long line of wonderfully valiant men who have fought to do the Lord’s will. You both have set such a brave example for your mother. And you both are so loved by me.

JJ, we take joy in knowing that you are in heaven with many people who have come before you. We know that your Uncle Adam is taking care of you, just as your aunts and uncles on earth longed to. We know that all of your great grandparents are spoiling you as only grandparents can. We know that while we wish we could be with you, if we had to pick any one else to be with our little boy, it would be these great spirits.

I know now is not our time to be together, but I also know that our time will come. I will be able to raise you and take care of you just as I have always wanted. Until that wonderful time, your absence will leave a brief imprint in my body and a permanent one in my heart. Our family yearns to be reunited with you again.

Always,
Mom