Happily Ever After?

11/11/2004- For time and all eternity

My coworker has an intern this semester and he was here for the first day of school to meet the students. Apparently she let the students ask him some questions. They found out he was married and one of the students asked him, "Were you happier before or after you got married?" [Here's what you need to know about this student, his parents have just finished (I think) going through this horrible divorce where he was right in the middle. His dad will refuse to bring him to school when it's "his week" and his mom will show up at conferences with a boyfriend just to make the dad mad. Neither one gives him the support or attention he needs (and that's just the tip of his issues).] He honestly thought that people were happier before they got married- based on what he saw with his parents. That question got me thinking- Am I happier now that I'm married?

It reminded me of the few months before we got married with all of my temple recommend interviews with my Bishop and Stake President. At the time I was in California and hardly knew the Stake President. It might have been the 2nd time I'd ever seen him and here I was at his house talking to him. He shared a story of when he first got married. He said after being married for about six months his wife and he realized they had never been happier. He shared that, saying that if you lived up to your covenants and treated each other as you should, you could be happier in marriage than you had ever been before.

So we got married and I kept thinking about. I don't think I ever reached a point where I was utterly happier than I had ever been before (being an adult, compromising, running life is tough!) But, yeah, Jason makes me happy. There are times when I look at him and this feeling of peace and comfort comes over me. I know he loves me and always will. I know he's in it for the long haul and that we can work through everything. And then there are times when I can't possibly imagine being more frustrated or irritated with anyone in the world (I teach 8th grade, so that means something). We'll frequently say to each other, "You drive me crazy!" "You are so irritating!" And maybe it's because we do know each other so well that that can happen. Who knows.

Am I always sublimely happy? Probably, distantly in my mind I am. But on the forefront of my mind- sometimes I want to strangle him. But, you know what? I'd never want to be anywhere else or with anyone else. Everything hasn't been perfect and just as I envisioned it as a wide-eyed young woman- but it's been pretty great. The journey, the stops along the way, and the efforts to make each other happy make marriage great (and equally frustrating). So, yes, I am happier married. And we're working on our way to happily ever after sometimes with just "one step forward and two steps back."

11/11/2008- 4 years and counting...