Six month mark

Today marks six months since JJ was born.  All I can really say is, "Wow."

I'm reading a book outloud to my students about a teenager growing up in the 60s.  (Wednesday Wars by Gary D. Schmidt- the kids love it!)  Well this week marks the second time I started crying, while reading aloud, to 8th graders.  I've read this book three times before this, two times aloud.

The first time I cried was when one of the teachers' husbands died in Vietnam and she received a telegram at school about it.  That time, I just sniffled a little bit.  And I was totally hormonal, so I wasn't too concerned about.

This time I cried when the main teacher's husband was found after being MIA in Vietnam for about three months.  And, this time, there were tears, and mascara problems, and difficulty speaking.  The book's at school, otherwise I'd quote the paragraph that really got to me in that section, so instead I'll have to roughly summarize it.  Basically she gets the telegram from him, the first words are "Sweet eyes stop." And then the main character goes in to describe all of these beautiful, happy sounds and how if you combine them all into one sound it wouldn't be half as happy as the sound his teacher made when she found out her husband was alive.  (of course, there was a lot more figurative language in it and it sounded really pretty)

I tell you, I knew what was going to happen, I've read the book before.  But as I read that description and I thought of my own life and the sound I'm going to make when I do get to raise my son- oh I just wanted to bawl.  But, luckily, as an expert crier, I got it all under control in under 20 seconds, well before the fire drill.  Who knows what my students were thinking as they saw me cry. They were all nice about it and didn't make a big deal out of it.  I don't think I've ever seen a teacher cry, ever.  And if I have, it wasn't from a good book, it was from a bratty kid.  Maybe a student teacher in 6th grade?!?

Anyway, I'm so grateful for the knowledge I have that I will be able to raise JJ again and in the long run six months will seem like nothing.  I'm also grateful for the husband I have, here, at home, not in Vietnam.