Faith, Strength, Love and Hope: Thoughts on Mother's Day

Today has been a day of reflection for me.  I had a lot of new people in my life (unfamiliar with the JJ situation) tell me "Happy 1st Mother's Day" and I've had a lot of "old" people in my life wish my a happy Mother's Day with sympathy and compassion.  I'm happy to be at the point where I'm a mother at this time, but I can't help but remember those past Mother's Days of difficulty and trial and particularly last year's of exceptional heartache.

There is something about Mother's Day that seems to pull me to other mothers and their unique "families" too.  I remember when everything happened with JJ and these women who'd gone through similar situations reached out to me in love.  I was given two very special, tangible gifts.  My mom gave me a ring with his birthstone in it, opal (she has a similar one in honor of my brother who was also born in October).  My friend gave me a bracelet with his name on a charm (she has a similar one in honor of her daughter).  She was given her bracelet by another woman who'd also lost a baby.  She told me I now had a responsibility to "pay it forward" when the time came.  At the time that seemed like it would be so far away, having to share grief with another struggling mother.

It's interesting how seeing someone go through a similar situation almost brings back your own grief too.  Last fall a friend of mine had a miscarriage.  As I tried to offer some compassion, I remembered fully what I had gone through with JJ's loss.  Then a few weeks ago a friend of mine told me about her granddaughter.  A few weeks before Johnathon was born, she delivered twin sons prematurely.  One lived only an hour and the other was sent right to NICU.  As she told me the story, my heart ached for her.  For this first time mother who had to say goodbye to her firstborn. This woman, I've never met, and probably never will, has been on my mind a lot, especially today.  I can only imagine her bittersweet emotions today and I long to take some of it away for her, to bring her some sort of peace.  To tell her that perspective and time will make a difference for her pain.

Last Mother's Day a close friend gave me a plaque.  It read,

"Faith to light the darkened sky, 

Strength to carry on, 

Love to touch and heal the soul, 

Hope to grace the dawn." 

(Remember, last May I wasn't pregnant and had lost JJ only six months earlier.)  I put that plaque on display and tried to draw from it exactly what it spoke of.  I think it is a perfect message for Mother's Day for those of us who have struggled to become mothers in this life, as we come in so many different shapes and forms.  May we all be sensitive to those women around us who find this one of the most difficult days of the year and find some way to impart faith, strength, love and hope to them.  And may all women, each mothers in their own way, realize how critical they are to the nurturing of everyone around them.  And may all women remember where they've been in who they are today.

I just heard this quote on the TV that fits perfectly with how I'm feeling right now, "It's never too late to be what you might have been."