Jason's JJ Story

After thinking long and hard about what I was going to write, this is what came to mind. After my lovely wife came home from a cruise with her sisters she gave me a bag of gifts. I remember thinking that was nice of her to do that. Going through the bag I came across a white thing that looked like a pen. I looked at it once more and that is when it hit me what it was. All that was going through my head at this point was yes!  The time has come to start a family. I was scared and did not sleep well that night. I kept thinking to myself, “I hope I will be a great dad.” The next months just flew by for me.

I met Katie at the doctor’s office and we had the 19 week ultrasound. I remember the ultrasound tech asked if we wanted to know if it was a boy or girl. I said, “Yes, we want to know.” I looked at the screen with the video of the ultrasound. The tech paused it and pointed to the boy parts and said, “It’s a boy.”  I was as giddy as a child on Christmas day. I could barely contain myself. I asked Katie if I could leave and tell everyone I knew.

The next Sunday at pumpkin carving, I thought it was very unusual that Katie didn’t want to carve a pumpkin.  She always looked forward to it like a fat kid wants cake. Throughout the night I could see the anxiety on Katie’s face grow. Throughout the next day, I was concerned and had a tough time concentrating on what I was supposed to be doing.  For those of you who don’t know, Katie gives me a list of what needs to be done throughout the week.  Feeling heavy hearted and prompted by the Spirit, I completed the entire list in one day. (This was very unusual for me.) 

When my wife came home from work I could tell she felt like she’d been run over by an 18 wheeler twice.  I asked her what was wrong and she said she didn’t feel well but thought it was something she ate.  After thinking about her response, it didn’t feel right to me.  I urged and urged and URGED her to call the doctor.  Being Katie, as stubborn as a pack mule, she told me there was nothing to worry about.  I then proceeded to ask her one more time and that’s when she asked for a priesthood blessing.  I called my home teacher/neighbor/good friend and he came right over.  He looked concerned that we were asking him to give a blessing.  After the blessing, Katie finally agreed to talk to her doctor on the phone.  I knew that was the right thing for her to do and I wasn’t surprised when we had to take a trip to Triage at Chandler Regional Hospital.  I remember as we got closer to the hospital, an uneasiness came over me. My wife didn’t notice I felt that way because I tried to stay strong for her. 

After getting to the Triage area, I remember the nurses did an ultrasound.  At that point, everything looked okay.  Then I remember Katie telling the nurse that she felt like she was leaking.  Once the nurse saw that, our tiny little curtained off area because command center for Triage.  Once the commotion started, my uneasiness grew and I knew that something was either wrong with my wife or my child.  The on-call doctor told me there was a possibility that they would air vac her to another hospital that could handle the situation better.  Once the mag took effect Katie was relaxed and just about unconscious, I was able to talk to the doctor some more.  That was when he told me that the situation was severe and they were not able to air vac to the other hospital.  He braced me for the worst.  He told me there was a possibility I could lose Katie and the baby.  My heart sunk.  After that I tried my hardest to get a hold of Katie’s parents to let them know what was going on with their daughter.  After a while, Katie’s sister was able to get a hold of her parents.  Forty minutes or so later, her parents showed up and I filled them in on what was going on. 

The next day, I was very concerned and didn’t sleep at all.  All I could do was pray and hope that everything would turn out okay.  The next few hours I knew things weren’t going to turn out the way I would like them to go.  I knew then I was going to have a premature baby that was not going to survive.  In need of some comfort I called my mom and she tried her best to comfort me.  I don’t recall exactly what she said, the only words I do were, “Heavenly Father has a plan.”  Through this whole thing, Katie and I were both blessed to have our mothers comfort us.

During the second day everything looked promising.  Not wanting to get my hopes up, I comforted Katie the best I could.  While her sister was keeping her occupied, I had to leave the hospital and get some “me” time.  On my long drive to and from the hospital, I felt a calming come over me. After feeling that, I knew my son was blessed. In the parking lot of the hospital, while in my truck, I said a prayer and in that prayer I asked, “Please let me know what you have planned for this situation.”  After walking back into the hospital and talking to Katie and her sister, I knew what that plan was. 

That night, weary and exhausted, I finally was able to get a few hours of sleep.  After waking up, I could feel the uneasiness in the room.  I saw my wife wasn’t doing well and was in a great deal of pain.  I did what I could to comfort her; I could tell that wasn’t enough.  Shortly after, the nurse asked me if there was someone I wanted to call: clergy, parents, etc.  So I called both.  A little bit later, Katie’s parents and our bishop showed up.  The bishop and Katie’s dad, Rich, gave Katie a blessing.  At that moment, I couldn’t help with the blessing because I was too emotional.  After the Bishop left, I called my parents and explained to them what was going on.  I told them they might want to start heading towards the hospital.  Back in the room I remember holding Katie’s hand telling her everything was going to be okay. 

At about 7:00 am, I went outside to call my brother.  We were on the phone and he was doing his best to talk to me and make me feel better.  While on the phone, I heard a scream from my wife I had never heard before.  Being down the hall from her room, it rattled me to the core that I could hear it.  I hung up the phone and got to her room as fast as I could.  While on the way to her room, I ran into Rich in the hallway.  He said, “Dude, you might want to get in there.”  Once in the room, I could see things were not good.  A few minutes later, the room was swarmed by nurses and my precious little boy was born.  In that moment, I lost it and broke down and started crying.  That moment was very hard for me. 

Soon after that, the nurses asked Katie and me if we wanted to hold our son.  I remember looking at my wife, seeing how proud she was to be a mother.  Soon after, it was my turn.  I held him for about ten minutes and in that time, I could feel his heartbeat and breath getting faint.  I remember the last breath my little boy took.  It shook me to my core.  I never thought I would have to endure the pain of losing a child.  After giving my son back to the nurses, I did everything I could to console my wife.  During that time, a peace came upon me.  Being comforted by the Spirit, I knew the power of the Atonement. I knew my son was going someplace that I wanted to be. 

Throughout the rest of the day, friends and family came, trying to comfort us both.  No matter how hard they tried, we still could not be comforted.  Later in the day, I got to see a special bond between sisters.  It was very comforting for me to see they had that bond, so I left the room and let them have the time that they needed.  It’s amazing what a good cry will do.  A couple hours later, the hospital staff asked us if we were going to bury him, or if we needed them to take care of his body.  In my heart, I knew that special being needed a proper burial. 

A week later, we had the services for Jason Garrick Dial, Jr. While dedicating the grave, I’ll never forget the spirit that came over me. That special moment will stick with me forever.  Four days later I went on an overnighter with the scouts.  Around the campfire, I had the opportunity to bear my testimony about the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the Plan of Salvation and the experience I’d just had.  During that testimony, I knew where my son was.  It’s amazing how one little baby could touch so many lives.